There is nothing more life changing than coming to full realization of the power of forgiveness. STM trip participant to Cambodia, Lisa Capenigro, describes what she learned while walking through Cambodia’s Killing Fields.
On our first full day in Cambodia, our team visited the Tuol Sleng prison (S21) and the Choeung Ek Killing Fields. I watched the movie and read up on the Khmer Rouge genocide prior to this trip, but nothing could prepare me for the horror of being there in person.
From the bloodstains on the walls of S21 to the bones and clothing poking out of the ground at the Killing Fields, it was impossible to not be moved by the remains of the horror that happened over 30 years ago.
*Photo by Connie Rock
Our tour guide was a survivor of the genocide himself.
He was present at the Killing Fields when they excavated the mass graves, knowing that some of those remains belonged to his family. He helped the forensics officials classify the remains for the memorial.
He was also there when Duch visited the site in 2008.
Duch was the head of the Khmer Rouge’s internal security branch, and oversaw the Tuol Sleng prison camp where thousands of people were tortured and killed.
Duch also gave his life to Christ in the 90s, after attending a leadership training given by a Christian pastor. He grew in his faith and started a home church in his own village.
That’s right. The man who ordered the torture and slaughter of thousands confessed his sin, committed his life to Christ, and became a pastor.
His true identity was discovered in 1999, when he decided to come forward to publicly confess his crimes and turn himself into authorities. It was during the trial in 2008 that he was taken to both S21 and the Killing Fields to recount his horrible actions.
Overwhelmed with remorse, Duch asked for forgiveness from all of those affected, although he said he understood that many of them might never be able to offer him forgiveness.
Our tour guide saw Duch drop to his knees at the Killing Fields, crying, praying, and seeking forgiveness, and he shared with us how seeing that made him feel. “Duch was saying he was so sorry, but it was too late! Too late! What does sorry do to fix this?”
A couple of things struck me about this. First, that is a completely normal reaction! Duch was responsible for the killing of over 12,000 people in a four-year period. Sorry does not fix that.
However, we serve a God who can redeem and transform anyone. No one is too far gone or outside of His reach.
I think many Christians struggle with the idea that someone who murders one person could be saved and go to Heaven, let alone someone who was responsible for the murder of 12,000! But if we read the Bible, we know that sin is sin, and no matter what it is, it separates us from God equally.
Lisa & Bou Meng – A survivor from Khmer Rouge Prison S-21
So, when I heard Duch’s story, I was in awe of the scope of the redeeming power of Jesus, that it may cover even sin that deep. And then also immediately convicted, realizing that I should be just as amazed that God has redeemed me.
There are no levels of sin, of which some are worse than others. We are all like filthy rags without the redeeming blood of Christ poured out to cleanse us from our unrighteousness before God.
Secondly, our guide’s story reminded me forgiveness is tough. It doesn’t come naturally. And it’s even harder yet if we don’t know Christ. As Christians, we struggle to forgive those who offend us, let alone those who murder our family members.
The Khmer people have suffered so much. Their hurt, and anger, and bitterness is understandable.
But the first step toward happiness, healing, and hope is always forgiveness. And that can only come through a relationship with Christ, who forgives us first.
That is my prayer for this country. I pray that they may come to know Christ and be able to replace the horrors of the past with the hope and healing that only comes through a relationship with him.
What do you think about Duch’s story? How does it change your view of forgiveness? How will you live differently hearing his story?
Do you feel called to share the hope and love of Christ in Cambodia? Click here to find out more about a trip for adults to Cambodia Fall 2015.
