Kristy Odom didn’t think she had any expectations of her Passport trip to India. Then she got there, and asked God questions about personal pain and why He sent her to India in the first place. 

Then God reminded her of something she can always count on: His unconditional love for her and His continual presence wherever she goes in the world.

Everyone says to leave behind all of your expectations when you go on a mission trip because they only lead to being disappointed and discouraged. That shouldn’t be too hard, I thought. I don’t know much about the place I’m going anyway.

It turns out, I had quite a few expectations for my mission trip to India—and my life as well. I also found that God wasn’t interested in meeting any of them. 

I often find myself living life as if God owes me an explanation. There are so many things I’d like answers to.

Why is it so easy for some people to walk away from a friendship and out of your life, when you’ve been nothing but a loyal friend? Why do the people I have prayed for for years still not have a relationship with Christ? Why are there still almost three billion unreached people?

I found myself praying, God, why did you bring me all the way to India? What do you want me to accomplish here? Why are my experiences not what I expected? What are you doing, God?

What do you do when you seem to have more questions than answers? I’ve wrestled with this for some time.

I even pause as I’m writing this, thinking about how to answer.

Then, last week while reading the book of James, I found this verse: “Be patient, therefore, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.” James 5:7-8, 11b

Most of the time I don’t know what God is doing. I don’t have a clue. But I know that His heart is for me. Nothing He brings me to is without purpose and preparation.

He sees me.

He knows me.

He cares.

We say we’ve taken God out of the box, but have we really? Are we willing to lay down all we think we know about Him and let Him be who He really is? Are we willing to trust His heart when we don’t hear any answers? If we’re not careful, we will start to think that God is only what we’ve been taught in church.

I’ve told so many people, “God is waiting to blow your mind with who He is.” Now I hear God saying to me, “Kristy, I’m waiting to blow YOUR mind with who I am. Take me out of the box.” 

I’ve asked God so many times why He brought me to India. I may not know the full answer to that for years but I’ve seen His hand at work in some awesome things along the way. 

At VBS last week, I got to present the Gospel to a group of kids and lead them to the feet of Jesus in giving their lives to Him. Yesterday I found out that the little boy I’m sponsoring shares the same birthday as me and I’ll get to meet him soon. Today I got to wash my hair under running water, also known as the spot where the rain falls off the corner of the roof, and it was such a gift.

I don’t know where you’re at with God or what kind of questions you’re asking Him, but I know that it doesn’t change who He is. Our questions don’t intimidate Him. They don’t catch Him off guard.

We don’t need to feel guilty, like we’re letting God down or disappointing Him, because the truth is, when we go to God with our questions, it draws us closer to Him. Our doubts are often what strengthens our faith the most.

Bring Him all of your doubts and all of your mess. He wants it. He wants you.

“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” -Jeremiah 29:13

*1st photo by Aaron Hong, 2nd by Colleen Salveggio